I planned to dedicate the columns this summer to light topics, but it has not been possible. My apologies for that. The Ceuta crisis and the fires raised the temperature so much that laughter froze. That said, let’s say goodbye to August as it deserves. It is healthy to review the list of surnames that, surprisingly, suit their bearers. It is an exercise that years ago we did among friends, fascinated by the fact that the Botín family had dedicated themselves to banking instead of high-heeled shoes.
Lu Martín, one of the great sports journalists, collects footballers’ jerseys that refer to the world of narcotics, perhaps because football is nothing more than the opium of the people. He boasted about the jackets of Griffa, Canuto, Camello, Di María, Perico, Cocca, Mota and I don’t know how many more, but this World Cup he was happy because he had added those of Porro and Raya, two fantastic players established in the Premier League. The nominal accident that the two coaches who led us to win the World Cup are named Del Bosque and De la Fuente leads us to think that in the future those called Del Campo, Del Río and De la Peña will have preeminence for the position. Last year Sevilla FC had a bad season. The surname of their Greek goalkeeper, Vlachodimos, fans pronounced it jokingly as Lajodimos. That is why this season, to dispel bad luck, they have decided to call him by his first name: Odysseas. Epic airs for the summer in which Homer triumphed with Christopher Nolan’s surround.
Although this has been, above all, a course of judicial surnames. When problems began for former minister José Luis Ábalos, the fact that his second surname is Meco made people suspect he would end up in some penitentiary center. Surnames of judges like Hurtado and Berdugo appeared around. Hurtado was the instructor in the case that ended up costing the State Attorney General his position. And Berdugo, watch out not to write Verdugo, was part of the court that sentenced him in the Supreme Court. From the UCO, one heard talk of Lieutenant Colonel Balas and General Malo. The Minister of Justice, Félix Bolaños, takes the surname of the stone ball that medieval cannons fired. Although to give his discharges a more innocent than aggressive air, he always goes carefully disheveled. Peinado, on the other hand, is a judge. The most unkempt. He issues shock rulings, like the one in which he took away the president’s wife’s passport on suspicion that her police escort helped her escape. His insistence on subjecting Begoña Gómez to a judicial ordeal has led him to summon her at odd hours, on Saturdays, during holidays, and at the time of the Spain match. Also wanting to crucify her alongside businessman Barrabés, whose surname is impossible not to relate to Barrabás, that bandit whom Pilate released, relying on the popular jury, to punish Jesus Christ.
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But the saddest point in this innocent game is held by the religious radical who tried to stab Salman Rushdie to death. His name is Hadi Matar, which confirms that, sometimes, the habit does make the monk. But let’s finish where we started, in Ceuta. There every member of the Government who has dared to set foot in the city to take the temperature of the migratory crisis has found citizens shouting, insulting, and reproaching them. Strangely, the city’s president’s surname is Vivas, which is the only thing they have not received.
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