Respectful parenting has consolidated itself as one of the most influential currents in contemporary education, bringing greater awareness of children’s emotional needs, the importance of bonding, and the value of sensitive accompaniment at different stages of development. However, in recent years, a more rigid, almost normative, version of what it means to parent “well” has been crystallizing. A misunderstood way of raising children that seems to demand an almost supernatural capacity for self-regulation from families and a physical and emotional availability difficult to maintain in real life.
Read more The success of Artemis 2 on the Moon leaves Europe in suspense
This way of understanding parenting is based on the work of British psychiatrist and psychoanalyst John Bowlby, considered the creator of attachment theory. Bowlby studied how the early bond between a baby and their caregivers is built, and what impact this relationship has on the emotional development of children. However, his original approach never appealed to perfection, but rather to attunement, sensitivity, and an aspect often lost in simplified versions of his proposal: repair.
According to this author, a secure bond is not built because there are no failures, but because after a mismatch, there is a reunion. That is, the child does not need an impeccable adult, but an adult who is sufficiently present and capable of connecting.
What was originally intended to be an approach guiding emotional well-being and mental health — returning to bonding, sensitivity, and connection — has ended up becoming a new form of pressure for families, and especially for mothers. A pressure that filters into daily life and seems to protocolize how to act when setting a limit, responding to a tantrum, or accompanying an emotion.
In parallel, an increasingly demanding parenting model has consolidated, in which having children has ceased to be a relatively intuitive relational practice to become a project of high complexity and constant evaluation. As if being a parent required completing a master’s degree in breastfeeding, complementary feeding, sleep, early stimulation, pediatric podiatry, or pediatric dentistry.
Within this framework, what was once experienced as more or less conscious choices is now perceived as mandatory standards. Parenting has transformed into a repertoire of “good practices,” and what years ago was a plurality of care forms has now been categorized as correct or insufficient.
Social media has acted as a powerful showcase for these trends, increasing their visibility and contributing to the normalization of “good parenting.” Constantly consuming this type of content not only exposes us to an excess of guidelines and advice — simplified and decontextualized — but also intensifies social comparison. As a result, many families experience increased anxiety or a feeling of inadequacy when trying to adjust to idealized standards that, in practice, are difficult to sustain.
This discomfort is not an exclusive experience of a small number of mothers. The report The State of Motherhood in Europe 2024 by Make Mothers Matter (2025) indicates that 78% of mothers in Spain feel mentally overloaded, a figure higher than the European average and pointing to a widespread experience of exhaustion and pressure in contemporary parenting.
At this point, and assuming that the lack of time, support networks, and work-life balance structurally permeates the experience of parenting and motherhood, it is worth asking how to sustain respectful parenting — with its numerous evidence-backed benefits — without it becoming a constant source of exhaustion. To this end, it is particularly useful to revisit Donald Winnicott, a British pediatrician and psychoanalyst who, in the mid-20th century, introduced an idea that directly contrasts with this contemporary ideal: that of the “good enough mother.” Far from perfection, Winnicott described care that inevitably includes error. An adult who does not always respond optimally, but who is capable of adapting, failing, and repairing. And it is precisely in this tolerable imperfection that the child’s emotional security is built.
Incorporating this more realistic perspective does not imply abandoning respect or conscious care, but rather returning parenting to its relational dimension: a space where tiredness exists, error is part of learning, and repair occupies a central place. One where, occasionally, you can snack on ultra-processed foods, watch television in the afternoon, and be flexible without guilt. Because children don’t need perfect families: they need human families. And perhaps the key to truly respectful parenting is that it is also respectful of the adults who sustain it or, ultimately, that it is compatible with life.
Read more Scary binges in X
